Life is Hard.

No matter what life stage you are in or age you are, it is a safe bet that you have had many ups and downs.  Most of us have asked the question, "Why me?"  at least once.  Flunking out of college, losing a spouse, dealing with depression, losing a parent or child, breaking your neck, losing your job...I could go on but you get the idea, hopefully.

I mentioned before that no one ever said this life would be easy.  In fact, if you are a believer, it is guaranteed to be difficult.  Candace Cameron Bure said in Reshaping It All that, "Losing weight is hard; maintaining weight is hard; staying overweight is hard.  Choose your hard."  That can be applied to any part of life.  Knowing that and applying it are two very different things though.

For some reason, we allow ourselves to strive and align to this imaginary timeline that says we have to reach certain points by certain ages.  If we don't, we fail or are falling short in certain areas because of it.  Heaven forbid it be because God has a different and much better plan for us.  "Surely I'm doing something wrong because all of these other people are getting to experience these things."  Ladies and gents, this is another lie.  Where are we getting this timeline?  Who said we have to be a college graduate?  Who said we have to be married with kids by age 25?  Ummm I'm 0 for 3 there and it's taken me a while to be okay with that.  In all honesty, some days I still battle it.  That is because I start comparing myself to others...again. We all need to stop and realize that the standard we look to is Christ and our commission is clear about making disciples and loving people where they are. We're all a work in progress.  :)

I have friends that have lost jobs, spouses, parents, children and their reputation.  Yet they still love Jesus.  They know that life is hard and that what we are all owed is hell.  It is only by the grace of God that we are able to get through this life day in and day out.  We all have our own "hard" to face.  It's how we respond and who or what we look to that really matters.  If I put my worth and definition in my job, appearance, social status, significant other or future children, I am putting unnecessary pressure on those things and people while setting myself up for catastrophic disappointment. 

I started writing this over a year ago. I had no clue as to what was in store and just what incredible experiences were ahead. There have been ups, downs, losses, wins and laughter galore. I shouldn't be surprised when things take a turn but in December, they did. I got a call from my missions coach and of was told that I'm not going to Italy (yet). Those reviewing my file said I have some medical things to work on and I later found out I need more experience under my belt. I get it, I do. My heart just hurt because of the rejection I felt. I had been told that they didn't see any way I wouldn't get appointed. My coach was shocked as well. I'm thrilled to tell you that I've seen glimpses of why I'm still here.  God didn't owe me those but he chose to share them. The day my file was supposed to go before the missions board, God gave me the chance to pray with a former employee who is dying of cancer.  There have been other opportunities as well that have no doubt been from The Lord. I'm grateful and excited that it's not the end of those. I'm able to talk about it now without crying (the week I was told wasn't pretty) and I know God has something He is preparing me for. It's not because I'm a failure and I don't have to have this all figured out (oh what a freedom)! So for now, I'll just keep moving forward where He has me and work on the things He has put before me. Easy? Nope. Worth it? Absofreakinlutely!