Perspective

I'm selfish. There, I said it. I don't like trying to see things from the perspectives of others at times because then I have to be understanding. For a while now I didn't think very highly of my biological father because as far as I understood, he was the jerk that didn't care enough to even sign away his rights to me.

A week ago, not only did I find him but I found out that he has been under the impression for the last 25 years that I was aborted. His and his family's world was turned upside down last week when I found him on Facebook. I can't imagine what that feels like. I've known about him my whole life, well, just the fact that he was out there somewhere. He had no real clue about me. Needless to say, it's been interesting getting to know him through messaging. Last night , I got to have a verbal conversation I NEVER thought would happen. HOPED for but after multiple failed attempts to find him, did I really think it would take place? Not really.

It was so strange but in a good way. He asked how I was handling all of the information from the past week and then asked about how my family was taking it all. He seems considerate and thankful. His family seems to be adjusting to the shock of everything so far and hopefully will continue to do so. As for what's next, just getting to know everyone...I guess. Still not sure what to do with all of this.

Today...Today's a day that my biological mother will probably get the letter I sent her. I'm so nervous. I want so badly to get a call from her tonight. If this is the only call she ever makes, I think I'd be ok with that. I have no clue as to how she's going to react to the letter. Maybe it will help nudge her to tell my half brother about me. If not, she has her reasons and I can't blame/judge her for that. Seeing things from her perspective are just as difficult because I don't know what it would feel like to have given a child up over 25 years ago and then have that child try to find me. More waiting...

Peace, that's what I feel because I've now made every attempt to find both sides of my biological family. It's a wonderful and strange feeling but I'll take it. I'm so thankful for God's timing in this and am still so excited about what He has in store for the future. Hope for the future is NEVER lost.