Hope For The Future is NEVER Lost

I read that line in one of my bibles. It was at the end of the Hosea introduction section. This was about 2 weeks ago and God has continued to give me the word "Hope" since then.

There's going to be a lot of "IFs" in this one so be ready...plus it might get kinda lengthy but oh well, so do most of my conversations. :)

I started an official search for my biological parents in May of 2009. After one week, they found my birth mother but she wasn't sure how she felt about contact because my biological half (older) brother didn't know I existed. He was just under the age of 2 when I was born. The registry was unable to locate my birth father because of the limited information that was provided back then.

On Tuesday night, I messaged a few men with the name of my biological father. I just asked if he was in the Army and stationed @ Ft. Benning back in 84/85. I got a response back from one of them..."Yes, I was." That then led to me telling him I was looking for my biological father and his response was so unexpected. He was shocked but excited because he was under the impression that the pregnancy had been terminated when it was actually his birth rights to me. As for how I found out his name, let's just say it's good to be from a small town...someone messed up and mentioned his name in a voicemail when I was trying to get my records opened. I didn't feel the need to tell her she broke the law. :) I actually deleted that voicemail within the last week. I had been saving it just because it was the only proof I had of his name.

My potential biological father is now married and has a 21 year old daughter. His wife and daughter have taken the unexpected news very well. So IF he's my biological father, I have a biological half (younger) sister...wow.

LOTS of the puzzle pieces seem to be fitting together and if this isn't him, I'm going to be extremely shocked. According to him, I look a lot like my biological mother. I believe that b/c when the Ga. Reunion Adoption Registry found her last May and she gave a physical description of herself that was a lot like my own.

IF, this man turns out to be my biological father, my biological mother is probably from my hometown. I was thinking for the last several years that she was from Carroll County and was looking there for info on my half brother. IF all this checks out, I have a good idea as to who my biological half brother is. We look a lot alike...I'm hoping to find out the name of the guy's mom over the weekend. IF it is what my potential biological father said, a lot more will check off...IF not, there are still possibilities in this.

A sweet friend told me a few times during the past 2 days that, "He's an on time God." She's so right and I'm so thankful for that reminder and I get caught up in the excitement and more waiting.

In all honesty, the excitement is starting to settle and reality is setting in. So many things I thought about my potential biological father(IF this turns out to be him), are probably wrong. He does care that I'm alive and well. He had no clue that I even existed up until 2 days ago. The fact that they couldn't find him in time, is more proof that God intended me to be with the Godwin family and I couldn't be more thankful for that. I even told my potential birth father that had he gotten to pick, he couldn't have picked a better one for me.

I could actually know who my biological half brother is and I must say, I'm so relieved to know that I never dated him when I still lived in Haralson County. Ha! Like I said, many pieces seem to be fitting together but only time will tell. I didn't know it was possible to feel so many different emotions all at once...overwhelmed, excitement, joy, confusion, exhaustion (not much sleep has taken place, but it's been worth it), and etc.

Another thing that came to mind is what IF, this woman is my birth mother but was with other men during that time? This kind man, who firmly believes that I'm his biological daughter, might not be my biological father after all. Either way, a DNA test will be done at some point.

Here's to a weekend of even more prayer and reading more as more waiting continues.

As for my family...they're amazing. They have been nothing but encouraging and supportive over the last 25 years as I have always been curious about my biological family. They're really excited (& cautious) about the process and I couldn't be more thankful for all they've done.

Thanks again to everyone who's been praying during this time!